ADHD

Dear Student Letter

Posting this “Dear Students” letter to keep it in my list.  She has great one-liners, such as

I’m sorry that you are forced to sit for six hours each school-day despite research that reveals the detrimental cognitive and health effects of excessive sitting.

This teacher puts into words what I feel, but cannot say — not being a teacher. It’s what I’ve seen happen to my daughter, in particular, as she went through a traditional high school setting. Of course, she needs to take some responsibility for her own education, but watching these last four years has given me an entirely new perspective on the kids who don’t appear engaged in school.

My personal world view held (past tense) that academics were the be all and end all. The measure of success was your GPA, where you went to college, etc.  Of course, you’d be engaged in school and get As. Kids who didn’t were just lazy.

Watching my daughter’s journey through school, especially high school, has changed my perspective tremendously. A kid who is “shut down”, doesn’t do homework or participate in class likely has a very good reason. It may be the “problems at home” excuse we hear about. This is certainly a legitimate reason and a very real situation for many students.

The one reason I’ve never heard from her school is “problems with school” — not that my daughter is having problems in school, but that the school set up itself is the problem. No one has ever suggested that the reason she’s shut down and not engaged is because the school atmosphere is overwhelming (2000+ kids in one space for 6 hours?) or that the emphasis on test prep (be it the state tests or AP tests) might lead to a type of learning that is not enticing beyond the drive to get a 4.0 GPA.  Could it be some of the reasons mentioned in the Dear Student letter?

My daughter with ADHD and dyslexia became a classic shut-down learner (see Dr. Richard Selznick’s writings for more) after 9th grade, and totally shut down after 10th. School was (continues to be) a major (I’d say THE) contributing factor in depression and anxiety issues. Yet, right now, she is directing a full-length student produced musical with 70 cast members. She has the entire show blocked in her head — exactly where 70 kids will be on stage, how she wants the songs to sound, the set to look and more. She’s actively making decisions, working with a production team of peers, and directing a cast of her peers (much harder than an adult directing high school kids). She was forced to choose between two best friends for the lead. Frankly, I think this is a tremendous learning experience — and honestly, more valuable life skills than some of the academic work.

I don’t buy the “blame the victim” attitude that it’s all her fault that she’s not engaged in school. (And that is what I often hear. Most of her teachers have been caring and understanding, but the system does not allow for any flexibility unless one pushes VERY hard. That’s a topic for another post.) I certainly couldn’t tolerate the conditions in which she has endure  to be at school. It’s true that some kids thrive in school — which is awesome. But, just because some kids look and act like they don’t care does not mean they are bad kids or not worth it. Look deeper — there’s likely a pretty valid reason and we owe it to these kids to meet their needs. Maybe, just maybe, it’d be worth our time to make some of these bigger, systemic changes like mentioned in the Dear Student letter that would mean all learners would be engaged, have a positive experience, and grow into thoughtful, caring and successful adults.

Positives of ADHD

LOVE this article about Scott Barry Kaufman about ADHD, “The Innovative and Creative Power of ADHD”.  I’ve heard him speak, and I find his messaging about ADHD to be so wonderful and empowering.

Listen to the audio interview – it adds much more to the article.

Kaufman says that parents need to work with schools to identify learning formats that don’t stifle creative thinking.

He talks too about students needing some autonomy in their education. I don’t see either of these things happening in the large public high school we interact with. It’s driven in large part by rule following, fill-in-the-bubble tests and classes that don’t value creativity. I won’t go on and on now, I’ve done that in the past. I think I’ll just go get Kaufman’s book…

I’ve blogged before about Scott Barry Kaufman

2e

Awesome article about Twice-Exceptional kids, Gifted + Learning Disabled = No Desk for You by Daniel Peters in the Huff Post.

This is EXACTLY what we’re going through. It’s a scary article for me to read – exactly what we’re seeing.

He outlines 3 paths for these gifted/LD kids:

  • ID’d gifted, never id’d LD
  • ID’d LD, never id’d gifted
  • strengths and weaknesses cancel each other, never id’d as either.

Love this quote — this is almost verbatim to what we’ve been told:

If you have advanced cognitive and/or academic abilities, you are able to score below to low average and then considered to be doing “fine.”

 

This one gives me strength to fight again:

We do not need our 2e children to be famous, but we do need them to get the assistance they need to do well in school, and further to bring their talents to bare. They have a civil right for a free and appropriate education and the protection of special education laws designed to give ALL students equal access to learning and achievement.

 

This is crucial:

4. Legislators and educational administrators should eliminate any absolute performance requirements from federal, state, or district policies for the identification of children with specific learning disabilities that prohibit the inclusion of higher ability children from needed services.

 

We have been told over and over again that since our daughter isn’t failing, there’s no way she’s getting any help. Thank goodness she has had a few teachers who have, without questioning, provided necessary accommodations that have allowed her to access the education she has a right to access. One problem is that the type of accommodation differs depending on the class. The school allows only one set of accommodations. Again, thankfully we’ve had teachers who have been willing to work with what is needed.

She’s never, ever, ever gotten any specific help for learning disabilities. We’ve been told over and over that she doesn’t qualify and they can’t give her any help.

The little help she’s gotten has been at our expense. As things are getting worse in high school, I so wish we had pushed harder and had sought out other solutions.

In reading the recommendations, I feel somewhat better — as we’ve done ALL of this — over and over and over. Without success. I’m not sure what more I can do.

1. Trust yourself. You know your child better than anyone. If your child is struggling and he/she is not performing to her perceived potential, advocate for him/her.

2. Talk to your child’s teacher and/or appropriate personnel and let them know where and how they are struggling. Request a meeting to discuss your concerns and for strategies to be put in place.

3. Request a comprehensive evaluation in writing if your child’s challenges are not improving despite initial school intervention or services. Pursue qualification for an IEP or Section 504 Plan.

Every student deserves the room, the space, the opportunity to excel — the metaphorical equivalent of a desk of his or her own.

Video

Susan Cain: The power of introverts | Talk Video | TED


Being a strong extrovert, learning about introverts made me rethink so many of my — and society’s — existing paradigms. What social behaviors do we value? How do we teach kids?

My kids are both strong introverts. My daughter is probably off the charts, although as a teen-ager, she also enjoys being with friends. However, she avoids large events, has a small, tight group of friends, and craves having a full day of time all by herself. A full day of school exhausts her.

Where does this leave her academically? As Susan Cain explains, school now revolves largely around group activities. Even if the work is done on your own, you’re always surrounded by other people – up to 35 or more kids in a classroom.

No wonder she retreats to the safety of her phone in school. It’s one way to be by herself in a sea of humanity.

Video

The Learning Revolution

I had the honor of hearing Jonathan Mooney speak recently. This is an excellent quick peek at his message of the need for a different look at education. We can no longer define intelligence as just reading, as the good kid is the one who sits still.

Just watch it. It’s only 7 minutes.

Getting Through

Parents and teachers should do everything possible to help kids get through high school without hating it.

-Gary Stager

Saw a recent tweet from Scott McLeod referencing this post by Gary Stager.

Wow. That is exactly what I’m facing right now with my 16-year old. How can this be? How can Gary Stager know this?

I don’t know the context of the entire post (great bits of wisdom he is sharing with parents from a Colorado school) but this bit really hit home. While I’m grateful that it appears that I’m not the only one in this situation, it is dreadfully sad that this is even an option!

My daughter (a junior) already hates high school. And honestly, who can blame her? Her every movement is questioned, regulated and controlled. She is told what she is supposed to learn, how she should learn it and how she has to demonstrate that learning. It’s even worse that the type of learning/assessment expected is largely rote, heavy reading and standardized multiple choice testing — all of which is difficult/boring for most kids, not to mention kids with attention deficits and dyslexia. For creative kids, this is enough to suck the soul out of learning and kill their spirit.

Yet, she’s blamed for not working hard enough.

Huh — have you ever seen her work on the lines to a play? unwrap a very difficult passage in a choral piece? curate visuals for her blog or develop a playlist? Watch her taking pictures sometime. She can work, she can focus. She just can’t do it on stuff that isn’t interesting. But she’s told that all the things she finds stimulating aren’t valid. Not explicitly, but truly, that’s what traditional schooling tells us all the time, everytime you enter a class, take a test or do homework.

I don’t blame the teachers. Most of them have their heart in the right place. They just have unrealistic workloads, too many standards to teach, and ridiculous pressure for these tests. Please give them some space to do what they want to do, why most of them went into the profession.

So, Gary Stager, how do I get my daughter through these last two years of high school?

Two Movements, Same Message

I recently attended a workshop for parents of kids with ADHD and/or dyslexia. We are dealing with a recent diagnosis in one of our kids — and it’s a whole new road to travel.

Jonanthan Mooney was inspiring and motivating. He talked about his experiences as a kid with ADHD and dyslexia. He talked about how important people in his life lifted him up and empowered him to take control to eventually graduate from Brown, write two books and be a founder of a non-profit. I do think he needs to give himself a little more credit – -he has an amazing resolve and motivation to do things right.

His message about “disabilities” in school was profound, being new to this world. He talked at length about the “disability” of ADHD/Dsylexia being a disability only in certain places, like school. In other settings, it’s an asset.

Four major takeaways for me:

  • Rebuild a child’s self-esteem. The child isn’t disabled — it’s everyone else’s attitude towards these kids that is the problem. 
  • Play to their strengths, don’t remediate the weaknesses.
  • Find advocates, mentors.
  • Intelligence is defined as ability to read. This is not the only way to measure, demonstrate intelligence.

While I was at this session purely for personal reasons as a parent of a child with ADHD and dyslexia, I was struck by the similarities in his advocacy for children with “disablities” and the messages I know well from the education technology movement.

  • He has a profound dislike of standardized tests
  • Sitting still shouldn’t get you good grades
  • Need to teach collaboration and critical thinking above memorization
  • Use the tools we have (TECHNOLOGY) to access content. TEACH kids to think, not memorize.

Here’s his message in a TED Talk nutshell: